I posted the above on National Coming Out Day, and a friend commented this:
“I really struggle with why people have to “come out!” I mean “straight” people don’t have to, so why should they? What’s wrong with people just being accepted for who and what they are?”
After much deliberation, here is my response:
Yes it would be perfect if everybody just accepted all kinds of human differences.
If being any kind of LBGTQIA was viewed by society as being just another totally normal human variation, like eye colour and left handedness.
If people could bring home any partner they like, if the gender they may be attracted to was no big deal.
If people could present as whatever gender, or no gender, they like. Without any stigma, just acceptance.
Sadly society isn’t quite there yet. It’s still a Utopian ideal.
Kids are not all being brought up to accept all human differences. Sadly there is still homophobia and transphobia in the world.
We desperately need positive visible LBGTQIA role models.
I do believe my son would have had a better chance if there were out and proud gay people around us, demonstrating that being gay is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed about. There’s an almost total lack of out and proud gay people in our village and his high school.
Iggy felt weird enough being autistic and hypermobile. He struggled with bullying, which greatly impacted his self-esteem and confidence. He wanted to blend in, go unnoticed.
Iggy did not open up to his family about being gay. We would have been nothing but accepting and supportive. Maybe his story would have been different had others in his school been out and proud.